incaseofzombies-deactivated2010 asked: What do you feel is a solution to the problem of the absence of innate “manliness” in our present generation?
Hi, incaseofzombies. That’s a good question. I was pondering it a little earlier as I was pounding some serious flange after having chopped down a tree using only the jawbone of an ass. And by ass, I mean Bear Grylls.
I think to work out a solution, first you have to diagnose the cause of the malady. Sure, old-school I-just-smoked-a-hundred cigars-before-lunch-and-jerked-off-onto-a-tiger-because-I’m Norman-Mailer manliness is dying out. Sure, men seem to feel no fucking shame about crying in front of women, or at the end of Charlotte’s Web. But why?
Susan Faludi nailed it in her book Stiffed — we no longer have an agreed idea about what it means to be a man. Joe Jackson kind of said it too, but he was more talking about some stuff about the gays which I didn’t understand because isn’t that song all about the hanky code or something?
Oh yeah, back to what I was saying. There’s no model for manliness these days. Whenever boys or men do traditionally manly things (drink, smoke, fight, leer at ladies, do burnouts in their cars, take tons of drugs) society as a whole says “YOUNG MEN ARE A PROBLEM”. Masculinity is, as a result, demonised.
So men acquiesce. And they learn that if they want to avoid being told they’re sexist, or are in some way paleolithic, that they’ll accept the argument from femininity as the final arbiter on societal matters.
End result? A generation of bedwetting premature-ejaculating pansies who ask women out on dates by text message because they’re petrified that if they ask a woman out in a public place that she’ll tear him a new asshole for objectifying her.
So what’s the solution? Given that we can’t (and don’t want to) wind back the clock on the advances of feminism, it’s a tough one. I think that individual men have to make a choice to just get their fucking shit in order. Most young guys could start by just standing up for themselves from time to time when someone accuses them of being a part of the patriarchal hegemony.
I guess what you’re after though, this being the internet and all is a list. So here goes.
7 things guys should all do or something like that.
- Walk between your lady and anything scary or dangerous on the street. This is like an old-school chivalry thing you can do and you don’t get the bullshit “hey you sexist fuck I can open the door by myself” thing that sometimes uptight women lay on you when they have their period or whatever it is that made them so very angry.
- Ditch the skinny jeans. Jeans are working men’s clothes. Jeans are for when you don’t know if you’ll be milking a cow or going down a mine that day. Don’t defile jeans by making them fey. If you must wear a ‘style’ of jeans, go for bootcut because then you look like a proper rockstar, not that girl from the Killers.
- Own, and know how to use, some basic tools. Women go all spongey for a man who can put up shelves and such.
- Fighting is key. Actually, losing. If you know what it’s like to take a beating (it hurts like fuck, but it’s not the end of you) then you’ll be more likely to stand up for yourself. Important tip: this may not apply in the USA where every swinging dick with an attitude packs heat. But in Australia, yeah, it’s important to know you can take a leathering. Plus, a broken nose is always a good story. I got mine taking a kicking from 5 guys when I was 17 or so. They called me some name because they saw me reading a book. I told them to get fucked so they kicked the living shit out of me.
- Would it hurt you to read a book?
- Don’t try to trick people into liking you. If you want people to like you, become a better person. All that pickup artist stuff is some bullshit. In my eyes, if you use that shit on women, you’re basically tricking them into fucking you by telling them lies. That’s not exactly informed consent is it, you bunch of rapey fuckos?
- Get better in bed. I am not even kidding. If you are good in bed, like really good in bed, women will let you get away with murder. This is, at least, what my female friends who have partners who are good in bed have told me.
That’s my prescription: be a bit chivalrous, learn how to fuck, have some integrity, stop crying unless it’s at the end of Old Yeller. The rest takes care of itself.
Your pal,
